Why You Can’t Make People Learn (And Why That’s Not the Point)The quiet shift
Written with assistance from ChatGPT
The quiet shift from trying to influence others to improving yourself
One of the most frustrating experiences in business is offering sound advice — and watching it go unused.
You see the issue clearly.
You explain the risk.
You outline the steps.
And nothing changes.
Over time, many owners and directors come to the same uncomfortable realisation: most people don’t actually want to learn, at least not in the way we expect.
Learning Requires Discomfort — And Most People Avoid It
Real learning isn’t passive.
It requires:
Accepting you might be wrong
Letting go of familiar habits
Doing work that initially feels harder, not easier
For many people, advice threatens identity rather than improving performance.
So they nod, agree, and return to what feels safe.
This isn’t stubbornness.
It’s human behaviour.
The Trap: Trying to Change People Who Aren’t Ready
When we believe we can convince people to change, we often fall into unproductive patterns:
Repeating the same advice in different words
Providing more data than is needed
Taking responsibility for outcomes we don’t control
Over time, this leads to frustration — or worse, quiet resentment.
The more complex truth is this:
You can’t make someone want to learn.
A Different Focus: Becoming a Better You
There’s a well-known line often attributed to Gandhi:
“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
In business, this translates into something efficient:
Instead of trying to get others to listen, focus on improving your own thinking, judgment, and capability.
This does two things:
It removes wasted energy
It quietly changes who seeks you out
People don’t respond to pressure.
They react to the example.
Why Improvement Attracts Attention
As you improve, subtle shifts occur:
Your decisions become calmer
Your explanations become simpler
Your confidence becomes quieter
Your standards become clearer
Ironically, the moment you stop trying to persuade is often the moment people start asking questions.
Not because you argued better —
But because your results, clarity, and consistency speak for you.
Advice Is Only Valuable When It’s Requested
Unsolicited advice is usually heard as criticism, even when it’s accurate.
Requested advice is different:
It’s received with openness
It’s acted on more quickly
It creates mutual responsibility
The most effective leaders and advisers don’t chase influence.
They earn it.
A Useful Reframe for Directors
Instead of asking:
“Why won’t they listen?”
A more productive question is:
“Am I becoming someone whose judgement is worth following?”
That question puts responsibility back where it belongs — without bitterness.
Closing
In business, influence doesn’t come from having the correct answers.
It comes from developing judgment, credibility, and consistency over time.
When those are in place, the right people tend to find you — and they’re far more likely to listen.